PSA: Clean Out Your Makeup Stash, You Dirty Hooker

This post was sponsored by Meijer Beauty.

I am a pro at cleaning out my closet (as you know). I buy new clothes constantly (as you also know), so I make sure to get rid of old stuff I don’t wear anymore to make room for my lovely new things. But I really don’t buy that much makeup, so I don’t think about keeping it in check.

Last month, Meijer’s beauty department contacted me about participating in their Spring Clean Refresh campaign. Getting that offer was basically like when your parents offered to pay you allowance to do the chores you should have been doing anyway. But sometimes you need that extra push. So here we go.

This is my makeup bag:

Not bad right? Oh wait, but I forgot my lipstick collection…

So that’s everything. Well, I guess technically the cup with my makeup brushes and eyeliners counts too…

Crap, I forgot about the wide assortment of moisturizers and wrinkle creams I’ve somehow collected even though I’m obviously not a day over 22…

OK FINE, I HAVE A SECOND, LARGER MAKEUP BAG WITH “EXTRA” STUFF THAT MAYBE I’LL NEED ONE DAY AND I KEEP IT UNDER THE SINK.

THIS IS EVERYTHING, I SWEAR!

OK, so this spring cleaning thing was even more necessary than I originally thought. There is no reason for one person (who is not a makeup artist or drag queen) to have this many beauty products. How the hell did I acquire all this?

Well, a lot of it is samples and stuff that comes in those free gifts with purchase. I always stash those things in the “extra” bag and I usually forget about them. I also have this weird habit where when I get new makeup to replace something I don’t like very much, I stash the reject makeup in the under-the-sink bag just in case I run out of the better option and need the backup. I don’t think I have ever actually retrieved the backup. There is no method to this madness.

Another bad habit? I could not tell you the last time I cleaned my makeup brushes. I did already have brush cleaner (to be used “once a week” – HA), so I put it to use. Here’s the before photo:

Aaaaaaaaand there is no “after” photo because if you saw everything that came off these brushes, you might not want to be friends with me and my disgusting face anymore. The important thing is they’re clean now.

Now. Remember that scary photo overflowing with products? I went through evvvvverything. And I threw out anything that was old and crusty, not my color, bad quality, a duplicate of something else, or otherwise pointless to keep around taking up space. You wanna know how much stuff that was?

All of this:

It felt quite freeing to clear out all these products. You should definitely try it. Since I was on a roll, I took it an extra step and used an all-purpose cleaner and paper towel to clean off everything I keep in my everyday makeup bag, PLUS the makeup bag itself! You know how the packaging tends to get all dusty and grimy? Mine is now pristine. Impressive, I know. But it will probably be 5 years before I do all this again so I had to make it count.

I know I’m not a beauty blogger, but for those who are curious, here are my everyday favorites in all their newly polished glory:

(Clinique CC Cream makes me look airbrushed and is easy to slather on quickly // Clinique Redness Solutions makeup I actually use as under-eye and blemish concealer // BareMinerals Original Makeup makes me less shiny, which is my constant struggle // Nars blush in “Orgasm” is a cult classic for a good reason // Revlon ColorBurst Balm Stain in “Romantic” is apparently my favorite lipstick because I used my first one up and just bought a new one – It’s a subtle red, it goes on smooth, and it doesn’t rub off too easily // I use an assortment of eyeshadows, but several of my favorites are Sephora brand eyeshadow – The quality is decent, and they’re cheap enough that you can play around with different colors // Smashbox Limitless liquid eyeliner – I have bought this one again and again because I love it so much // MAC Opulash Mascara doesn’t try to claim any fancy tricks…It’s just good mascara that does flake off everywhere.

Thanks so much to Meijer for sponsoring this post and forcing me to clean up my admittedly disgusting act. Once you’ve cleaned out your old crap, you can freshen up your bathroom sink with some of the new things now available at Meijer. Now go forth and conquer that overflowing makeup bag!